Father Me! (2)

Continued:

There was a season, during which my parents suffered a severe shortage of funds, but I did not know it, perhaps because it would have been difficult to understand. I must have known somehow though, because I loved to eat bread, and I went to the bakery twice a week to pick a loaf which I often ate alone (at least, 70% of it 90% of the time). As that season set in, I soon came to know to ask mother if my father was buoyant enough to give me money to cater for my little treat. Sometimes she encouraged me to ask, some other times she gave me money from her pocket and other times she asked me to hold on for a day or two. The times I went ahead to ask, it was either a quick reach for his wallet, or a steer into the distance that would still end up in him giving me the money. It was long after this season had passed that I realised how difficult it was for him: he could not afford to deny his son bread even in extreme financial difficulty! In spite of his financial difficulties at that time, priority was laid of food, school books and uniforms - oh yes, I eventually had up to five pairs as my father did not want me to bother to wash during the week.
At the time he died, I was ‘all grown’ and away from home – working and preparing for marriage – but I felt the blow strongly, because even then, my octogenarian father was yet a strong force in my life. I miss him and talk about him to people who keep wondering why seven months after; I still get drawn to tears thinking about him. Why not, I wonder. Well, I see how hundreds of people who have not had the benefit of prolific fatherhood turn out, and get thankful all over again.
Perhaps one of the greatest things my father did for his children is the fact that he set up an “altar” at home, creating a platform for us to know and relate with the living God and opening us up to the possibilities of a relationship with that God. The priority he gave to devotion was overwhelming at the time. In fact, as we grew older, the conduct of the sessions – from choosing the hymns and scriptures, to leading the prayers – became a responsibility we shared with Mummy and Daddy. And we did learn to pray, even in Yoruba!
Looking around today, I can tell that my generation is falling apart – as result of the dearth of real fathers. Our community is on a degeneration roller-coaster as the youth are being crushed under the weight of decisions that are ordinarily not theirs to make. I stand today (even if not perfectly) because I had a father who shielded me till I was ready to face the world’s stage. He was working overtime fathering me at a time I could not possibly have appreciated him, truly. His labour was however perfected when Christ found me and helped me relate to Him (the Holy One) as my ultimate coach.
The ills in our society continue to multiply as we come to terms with the fact that a screaming percentage of these foul deeds are propagated by/through the youth. Many young people carry bold faces around while deep within them they cry: silently yearning for role models, seeking the faces of father-figures and praying “Father me!” Yet, the older generation is busy; far too busy to understand its responsibility to its infant; wallowing in its corruption of society and selfish ambitions. All the while though, it looks on the youth with disdain, blames society’s decadence on it and gaily makes references to “the good old days”! What it fails to see however is the fact that the progeny is only an advanced image of its ancestor: the proclivities of the father would find expressions in his sons – and they would be far more creative. Little wonder gay marriages are being spoken off in Africa today, and profanity is the order of the day.
Society is only as strong as its constituents; therefore leadership begins with the tutoring of one! Many of the traits my father displayed in his lifetime are missing from our world today because many who had it did not live by example to their children. He did not have to coach with spoken words all the time; all he had to do was act right! How much better society would be if only everyone would shape up and act right! What better way can there be than for responsible “fathers” to train up their “children” and point them to God, for whom we all run the race of life.